Frustrated with myself lately.
I’m very shallow and I don’t like it. I am a man, and realize this is not that unheard of, but I do wonder what it would be like to just not care at all about what my partner looks like. I suspect I would end up dating much more genuine, good human beings. I probably would be happily married by now.
There are some things that perhaps predispose myself to focus on looks. On the myers-briggs scale I’m an ENTP which supposedly means I’m hard to satisfy. I’ve also lived in some major metropolitan areas that have a reputation for focusing on looks (SoCal). Lastly, I’ve done online dating which can be something of a meat market just sorting through pictures. Some part of it has to be tied to a pride thing – that I’ll only settle for a pretty wife that will make other men jealous.
Not just talking about being healthy either. I think it is valid to discriminate on healthiness, overweight/obesity etc. That’s generally in someone’s control. What I’m talking about is purely cosmetic looks. Big boobs, makeup, heels, a pretty face, etc.
The implications of this have become worrisome to me. At the moment I’m dating a nice girl who is legitimately beautiful. However, occasionally this nagging thought of “man, wish she would get a boob job” will pop up and all I keep thinking about is how to bring it up. It’s ridiculous. She actually has nice, normal breasts. I’m not sure what I would need to do to get it off my mind, maybe move to an area where plastic surgery is less common. Also, less porn probably would help.
How is this going to play out as I age? Will I be the creepy old man hitting on the 20-somethings? I hope not. Will I pressure my wife to get plastic surgery? I also hope not.
Any thoughts on this?