Been thinking a lot about what it means to be in love. Is some of it a choice, or is it something you can’t control at all? Is overwhelming passion a requirement for a successful relationship? Unfortunately, I have been in the grip of passion that I can’t control, and it seems I’ll never be able to capture that again.
She was a prior military medic, just starting on a Ph.D., into fitness and philosophy, and a whole lotta tattoos. Seemed like a perfect match, and I was overcome. We had two dates and things were great. Apparently she didn’t have the same impression. Within a week, my texts were being ignored and I was heartbroken.
For some reason, a different feeling came over me. I wasn’t going to give up on this one without a fight. She was an INFJ, and I felt maybe she was just skittish, if I kept things up she could be won over. I kept sending a text every few days, with no reply. She had mentioned a her MS graduation ceremony was in a few weeks, and her mom was going to fly in for it. This became my new plan. I looked up the ceremony, bought a suit and some flowers, took off work and drove the few hours to the ceremony not really knowing what to expect.
Once there, I was able to sneak into the ceremony building. Eagerly I waited on my love and kept my eyes searching the crowds of people. Then I finally saw her, and my heart jumped, she was with a guy! My angel had just moved on. I couldn’t believe it. Maybe it wasn’t her, I texted her number, and saw her look down. Well, that sealed it. She looked around in a panic and saw me. She quickly grabbed her guy and ran outside, supposedly to take some pictures.
I looked down at the flowers I had bought. Fuck this. She was getting these flowers, I was on a mission. When she came back in, she tried to walk past me into the ceremony without an indication. My heart raced, I shoved the flowers into her arms and said something like “you need these”. As I walked past her out the building I could hear her guy say an incredulous “really?!”
Exhultant that I actually gave her the flowers, although bummed on the overall outcome, I texted her something like “that’s what you get for ignoring me, but seriously congrats on the graduation.” There was no reply.
If only it ended there 🙂 to be continued in part two: