Alcoholism #2

This continues my story with alcoholism.  Post #1 here:

So I had just graduated from the military’s mental health program for alcoholism, and I was pissed.  I still didn’t really accept the diagnoses despite some valid evidence, and I was also struggling big time with self-image.  It didn’t correlate with my view of myself as a military officer.  I couldn’t tell anyone about my troubles.  I needed to repent.  I immediately started to volunteer for a deployment anywhere.

Drinking also crept back into my life.  I still wouldn’t admit I had a problem.  It was more tame, I realized I had the potential in me now.  Still, there started to be some more out of hand nights.  I also started dating someone I really liked, although she was a lot younger and was prone to partying.  Probably not the best match.

The military quickly matched me with my desire to go to a war zone, and shipped me off to Afghanistan.  This cut the budding relationship off at a month and a half.  Still, we maintained contact, and over the 7 months I was gone I started to believe in a relationship.  In fact I started to count on it to get me through the days.  Notably I was forced to not touch alcohol due to the orders in Afghanistan.

Finally the day came when I returned.  It had been a productive deployment, and I had a very nice welcome home, including an airport greeting by my unit and friends, and my girl!  She was still there.  She drove me home, eager and giddy with thoughts about what the night would hold.  My friends had given me a bottle of scotch (my favorite!) not knowing my history and I wanted to enjoy it with my girl and have some fun.

Well, we cracked the bottle open and I don’t know what happened after that.  All I know is I woke sick as a dog, the bottle was empty and the girl was gone.  Our relationship had ended somewhere between when I left for Afghanistan and when I woke up the night after I got back, and I don’t know when or why.  I was devestated, wanted to blame someone, anything, but didn’t know who.  In my loneliness I returned to comfort in a bottle.  My unit gave me two weeks off to recover, not a great time if you live by yourself and are having reacclimation issues.  I spent the whole time drunk.

To be continued in part 3.



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