This is a continuation of one of my experiences with passion. For earlier parts see here:
https://starandlotus.wordpress.com/2016/07/20/passion-1/ https://starandlotus.wordpress.com/2016/08/17/passion-2/ https://starandlotus.wordpress.com/2016/09/13/passion-3/ https://starandlotus.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/passion-4/
Despite all my attempts, completely putting myself out there I was shot down. Still, I couldn’t shake this girl out of my heart. I continued with online dating but nothing significant developed, it seemed no one could make me forget her. Occasionally I would text her something, sometimes I’d get a curt reply, usually nothing. I’d check her facebook or her Instagram. It seemed she would occasionally go into short-lived relationships but nothing was sticking for her either. Of course I was torturing myself.
Then one day out of the blue she texted me. We had a quick text conversation, I played it cool for a bit, then asked her out. She said yes, although before going, she let me know she was leaving for an internship over the summer. I was fine with that.
We ended up having a really nice dinner, and good conversation. We shared quite a bit about our pasts, she told me about some of her struggles, which were significant, and I shared my story about alcoholism. It was good.
I tried asking her out again, but she turned me down, said she didn’t have time before she left. My heart was somewhat numb by this point and we slowly dropped out of contact. I tried to move on, but she was on my mind.
I ended up having a relationship over the summer, and I tried sincerely. But occasionally my mind wandered back to this girl. Well, obviously that didn’t sit well, and the relationship became just a summer fling.
On and off online dating, yet she still comes to mind. After the summer was over, I texted her. We reconnected, met for a hookah date, and now we’re talking again… although she is getting ready to move out of state.
Nothing is ever easy, but I don’t know if I would have it any other way.