Vacations

Since starting work, I have never taken a vacation.  Sure, I’ve taken time off, usually to visit family over the holidays (which is honestly more work than work), but I’ve never actually taken a vacation just for me.  The most I’ve ever done was a four day weekend.  I’ve heard that you really need two weeks to disconnect from work and reset yourself.

Part of it is I’ve mostly been single, and traveling by yourself seems kind of lame.  Part of it is I’m pretty competitive at work and that just seems like too long of a time that I’ll miss something important.  And part of it is I generally like my work, I don’t particularly feel a strong desire to get away from it.

Still, I do feel burnt out from my life situation occasionally, and that I need a change of pace.  Not sure what to do though – it just seems silly to take a vacation by myself, and a large waste of money.  Honestly, that would seem to be the biggest thing to find a partner for – someone to share in adventures away from work.

~dmitri

Sobriety and Loneliness

As discussed elsewhere, I no longer drink alcohol.  While this has helped with some goals that are important to me (health and living frugally), it has led to loneliness at times.  I didn’t exactly quit alcohol under the best circumstances, and I don’t exactly feel secure around it.  I’m still committed to not drinking for now, because I don’t feel like it would be good for me to start again.  The biggest way I’ve found to avoid temptation is to just not be around it.  I don’t usually hang out in bars anymore, and I typically avoid a lot of situations that would have alcohol.

While there would seem to be plenty of social situations that don’t revolve around drinking, it still comes up enough where I feel isolated.  Sometimes I’m fine in a bar, getting dinner with a friend, but there are other times where if I’m around alcohol, like a party or a bunch of people hanging out at the pool drinking, I just get weirded out and have to leave.  In fact, I usually avoid those situations in the first place.  And if I have to participate in something, my brother’s recent bachelor party for instance, eventually I’ll withdraw into myself.  People are annoying.

Part of it was that my social life used to revolve around drinking.  And I still miss that partying lifestyle.  So I really don’t know what to do with myself socially without drinking.  While I’ve always been somewhat of an loner with my interests, this seems to take things too far.  Rather than try to engage with people in a potentially awkward-feeling social situation, I’d rather just play a video game or mess around on the computer by myself.  Obviously this has led to much less social interaction and a feeling of isolation.  Often times, I’m happier at work (which is a social situation not involving alcohol) than at home.

 

~Dmitri

Bar Fight #2

This is a continuation from here:  https://starandlotus.wordpress.com/2017/04/30/bar-fight-1/

I was stumbling around outside covered in blood.  Eventually I vaguely remember one of my friends coming up to me and asking me if I was alright.  I said yeah, I think so.  She relayed that apparently I had been decked by someone and the bouncers were taking care of it.  I was out of it, I said I think I’m going to go home.

Somehow I got back into my car and drove all the way back to my place.  When I got home I went into the bathroom and realized that I am fucked up.  My face is pretty smashed in, my eye is swollen and I have a hole punched through my lower lip.  Super groggy, my phone suddenly rings.  It was my friend, she said the police were at the bar arresting the guy who hit me, and that they needed to talk to me.  I didn’t think I could do anything, so she offered to pick me up and drive me back to the bar.

When I got there, I relayed what I remembered about talking to the girl and then coming to outside.  The rest of the story I got was that I was talking to her and this guy (apparently her boyfriend) just walked up and clocked me from the side.  Then when I fell to the ground, he got on top of me and started pummeling my face.  Another of my friends saw him and pushed him off of me then called for the bouncers who detained him.  At some point I came to and walked outside.

Apparently the girl was underage, was very drunk, and got arrested also for mouthing off to the cops.  The guy was just some drunk guy in his early 20s.

to be continued…

 

 

Different Religions in Relationship

Recently I noticed a girl I liked converted to Catholicism.  It was a bit of shock, she had been into philosophy and eastern religions, like me, which had been one of the big reasons I was attracted to her.  I don’t know what prompted the change, certainly being a member of a major religion has a lot of benefits in providing a sense of community and purpose.  Regardless, it is what it is.  It got me thinking though.

Whenever I do online dating I pretty much list my religion as other, or spiritual and not religious, which I think is an accurate description.  There is certainly a fair number of people who match that where I live, but also a ton who don’t so how big of a difference is that?  Can a relationship work between two people with different religions?  I think it’s hard but I might be willing to try.

In theory, if both partners were respectful of each other’s beliefs then it should be workable, right?  In practice though, that is simpler said than done.  There would be little irritations initially (differences in habits, worldviews, preferences) that would grow into major issues down the road (major differences on politics, healthcare choices, religion of kids).

For me personally, I’m pretty into science and openness.  So depending on how far someone took a religious conviction (denying generally accepted scientific principles, etc.), or start asserting their religious convictions on other people, those would be huge turn-offs for me.

~Dmitri