Sobriety and Loneliness

As discussed elsewhere, I no longer drink alcohol.  While this has helped with some goals that are important to me (health and living frugally), it has led to loneliness at times.  I didn’t exactly quit alcohol under the best circumstances, and I don’t exactly feel secure around it.  I’m still committed to not drinking for now, because I don’t feel like it would be good for me to start again.  The biggest way I’ve found to avoid temptation is to just not be around it.  I don’t usually hang out in bars anymore, and I typically avoid a lot of situations that would have alcohol.

While there would seem to be plenty of social situations that don’t revolve around drinking, it still comes up enough where I feel isolated.  Sometimes I’m fine in a bar, getting dinner with a friend, but there are other times where if I’m around alcohol, like a party or a bunch of people hanging out at the pool drinking, I just get weirded out and have to leave.  In fact, I usually avoid those situations in the first place.  And if I have to participate in something, my brother’s recent bachelor party for instance, eventually I’ll withdraw into myself.  People are annoying.

Part of it was that my social life used to revolve around drinking.  And I still miss that partying lifestyle.  So I really don’t know what to do with myself socially without drinking.  While I’ve always been somewhat of an loner with my interests, this seems to take things too far.  Rather than try to engage with people in a potentially awkward-feeling social situation, I’d rather just play a video game or mess around on the computer by myself.  Obviously this has led to much less social interaction and a feeling of isolation.  Often times, I’m happier at work (which is a social situation not involving alcohol) than at home.

 

~Dmitri

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