A weird thing has happened as I’ve gotten older. I’ve stopped caring about sex as much, or at least casual sex. Certainly when I was younger that was always the goal when you went out with the guys, to hook up. But at some point I’ve just gotten tired of it. It’s not really a loss of sex desire really, there is still very much enjoyment from sex in my relationships. And I don’t know that I would turn it down if offered, but I just don’t get excited about trying to go out and get laid.
Couple thoughts on that. A large amount of self validation for men comes from being able to get laid, so after you’ve had enough sex, and/or are generally comfortable with yourself, you aren’t seeking that validation anymore. Also, you can have some close calls (I’ve had a few broken condom incidents) that make you realize sex can have consequences, and honestly if you aren’t willing to have sex with someone without a condom, you probably shouldn’t be having sex with them period.
Then it seems standards go up. Once you’ve been with a partner at a certain level of attractiveness, it’s hard to get excited for something less. Not drinking certainly removes a huge source of temptation; beer goggles will definitely change your standards.
Basically I’d rather just masturbate than go through the trouble of trying to go to a bar to hook up. So happy St. Patrick’s Day! I think I’ll sit this one out.
~Dmitri
Star and Lotus 